Relationship Wizard

My sister got herself a new boyfriend. I'm sure he's nice and all but somehow he's turned my sister into a melted carmel sundae. She's all liquidy about him. She spends all her time thinking about him and when she's not thinking about him, she's calling him or texting him on her oh-so-fantastic cell phone.

Are all relationships like this?

I'm not a very relationship oriented person. Truth is, I don't understand the concept of relationships. I care too much about myself to really give up what I want for the sake of someone else. On occasion I can be a nice person. I share and give up my valuable time to help out my friends and family. But why would I do this for some guy?

I wouldn't. I had my heart broken once and although I "learned something" from the experience, I don't really see the point of having my heart cut up into shreds again.

There is something to be said about those people who truly diverge themselves into the realm of dating. They are dare-devils, masochists. They put their faith in other people. At times, they fail. Sometimes they succeed. No matter what, they move on, keep trying and if they find that unlikely person that they can actually stand, they try harder, willing the relationship to last.

I don't get it. I wonder if I ever will. For now, I choose to be flabbergasted. And I'm okay with that.

strange encounter

Yesterday, I went to the Yamhill County Fair. I was on a date with my father, but I still met up with a few of my friends from work so we could all watch the concert. Blue Oyster Cult was on stage. The band is from the seventies and most of the members were obviously not the originals, but it was still pretty great. I had a few beers to boost morale and help me enjoy the music.

While I was talking animatedly to my co-workers, my dad stepped aside to pick the brains of the men in uniform behind us. My dad is a retired colonel, you see. He started talking to one of them for a while and somehow it came up that I was in the Peace Corps for a spell. The guy, Joshua, must not have been so bright because he still thought I was in college. I'm WAY too old for college now, that is, unless I EVER get into grad school.

Joshua tried to get me to join the air national guard. I don't have too much against the military, I mean, my dad worked for the government for the better part of his life but I mean seriously, I'm not the type of person you want to recruit. I was in Peace Corps. I don't believe in working for the man (even though that's kinda what I do now at the bank).

The worst part of the whole thing was that the guy gave me his card to call. Of course, he wasn't hitting on me, he was trying to get me to sign up for the air guard. And then when I ran into him later, he said that as a former Peace Corps volunteer, I couldn't join. Um, I wasn't going to but now there is DEFINITELY no reason to call...

Hmph.

lobsterback attack

I like to swim. I always have. There was never anything more fun to do than go swimming on a hot summer day.

This weekend was warm. It was more than warm. It was hot. On Saturday, rather than writing, studying for the GRE or learning more about how I can save the world, I took a small road towards hedonism by laying out in the sun. I engaged in some light reading and fell asleep, once on the beach chair I was lying in for most of the time and twice in the pool while in my floating bed.

Three hours of leisure led to at least a week of true pain. Skin such as mine cannot take the burn that has encased my back.

And so my back matches the red shirt that dons it each night. I can only hope that soon the freckles will take over and take all the ache out of it.

Too busy with life

In Ukraine, I lived a simple life. I had time to call my family and visit my old Ukrainian babycya across the street. My time was free. I had hobbies, would travel to see my friends on weekends and always had time to help my friends whenever they asked me to do something.

But now I am in America. My life is chaotic. Every day is so full to the brim with work or entertaining others that I have no time to myself. I have no time to do the things I love.

What does that mean? To say "I have no time" to do something is pointless. I have the same amount of time here that I did when I was in Ukraine. I have twenty-four hours every day to do what I want. It is my choice to do whatever I choose. Obviously if I am telling myself that I have no time to myself, I am doing something wrong. I need to take care of myself. We need to enjoy this life we have. Not only is this our one life to live, but I truly believe we'd better enjoy living it.

don't touch my money!

Today my niece showed me her coin purse. It's about 2 inches deep and 2 1/2 inches long. It holds about 54 cents. She handed me this, her wallet, to look at. I started to open it up to count the change and she yelled out, "Put that back right now!"

Dude. Sorry. I didn't realize that our obsession with money starts at age 2. Then as she was leaving, I gave her a hug. After the hug, she checked her purse to see that her wallet was still there. Did she think I took it? Have I played "magic" tricks with her before?

Wow. That's all I can think. Wow. Money... an obsession... the thing most people end up fighting over... the bitch that has enslaved us all.

the death of customer service

The buck stops here. When Harry Truman first coined this phrase, I wonder if he knew how many people would use it. It's so matter of fact. It shows ownership, control, leadership, responsibility. I like it because it shows that Truman was a bit of a hard-ass.



At my current position on teller row, I often feel like a bit of a hard-ass. I'm not really sure how customers perceive me, but I do know that I react strongly to all of their misfortunes and annoying habits. Take, for example, a woman who doesn't have it all together. She often misplaces her keys, forgets that her pen is in her hair, and can't ever remember her account number. She laughingly comes up to the counter, shuffles through her bag, trying to find her check book. She apologizes for not being ready but doesn't step aside to let one of the other ten people in line come to the front. This woman ruins my day. Her light cackle annoys this aging mind of mine and echoes in my brain until I want to run away and scream.



Stupid people drive me crazy. There is a point when the brain feels as if it can explode. These people stretch me to that point.

red noses in spring

Allergies seems to attack the most innocent of people. I, for one, consider myself to be one with the earth. I started a compost pile outside my parents' house, I recycle all recycleable materials. I use less toilet paper than I used to. I do good things for this earth we live on. And yet, I am plagued with allergies. What is the deal?

I stayed home yesterday. My activities included sleeping, watching Sex and the City Season Three on my TV, blowing my nose, and drinking water. And this morning I woke up and just as much snot is squeezing out of my nose as before. Within the hour, I'll be at work. People who help people all day as I do shouldn't go to work when their noses are acting up like mine is yet again today. Let's just hope I'm not one of those crazy carrier monkeys.